1. Cardio. The fatties always die first.
2. Be aware of bathrooms. Don’t get caught with your pants down.
3. Seatbelts. Arrive alive.
4. Double tap. Because once just isn’t good enough.
5. No attachments. Screw family & friends, they could be zombies.
6. Travel in groups. That way you won’t be first to go.
7. Keep the dum-dums close at hand. You don’t have to be the smartest, just smarter than the person next to you.
8. Kill with efficiency. Waste not, want not.
9. Guns are for hunting, not for zombie killing. You always run out of bullets. Toilet lids last forever.
10. Be quiet. You’ll give the zombies and your companions a headache.
11. Avoid the masses. This is not “Shaun of the Dead” people.
12. Always have a car. Faster than running.
13. Leave no zombie alive. Or they will kill you.
14. Stock up on food. Can’t kill on an empty stomach.
15. Do not chase the legendary Twinkie. Its just not worth it.
16. When in doubt, know your way out. Never let them corner you.
17. No practical jokes (when there are no zombies present). Playing Zombie with your friends will kill you.
18. Don’t be a hero (unless you can get away with it).
19. Limber up. A lion may not stretch before hunting a gazelle, but you are a human, not a lion. Get over it.
20. Blend in. Zombies can’t recognize a human in a zombie costume.
21. Find the right shelter. Make sure the place is empty before you sleep there. A surprise wake up call to a zombie eating your intestines is not pretty.
22. Zombies can’t climb (ladders are an exception). Trust us.
23. Be ruthless. Its you against the world, and its okay to kill the grandma across the street. Just make sure she’s a zombie first.
24. God bless rednecks. They have all the good weapons.
25. No drinking. Only one and you’re done.
26. Do not go home. Your parents are most likely zombies.
27. Be a nomad. Do not stay in one place for too long. They will find you.
28. Travel light. Too many possessions will slow you down.
29. Communication is key. You may need to contact the local police department if you run out of other options.
30. Use your surroundings as your advantage. You may find an unlikely weapon.
31. Sleep deprivation is the 2nd leading cause of death. So get your 8 hours worth.
32. Check the backseat. A zombie surprise is not fun when you’re driving.
33. Enjoy the little things. Have some fun, if the world is ending, breaking a few shop items should be the least of your worries.
34. Nut up or shut up. Grow some balls, girls like that.
